


home; a story of discovery

by kaumari



Series: time is the change from stardust to bones [3]
Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Introspection, M/M, Mini Character Study, side sunaosa lmao
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-21
Updated: 2020-08-21
Packaged: 2021-03-06 18:48:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 701
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26033722
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kaumari/pseuds/kaumari
Summary: in which atsumu does not know what he misses until it's been found.
Relationships: Kita Shinsuke/Miya Atsumu
Series: time is the change from stardust to bones [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1889728
Comments: 4
Kudos: 35





	home; a story of discovery

Home is a tricky thing. Once, home was a smooth volleyball held by callused fingers. It was the ever present scent of sweat and salonpas and rubber, the sound of squeaking shoes and thumping spikes and teammates yelling. It was more of a home than his house, where he was always itching to return to the gym where the hunger in him settled. It never died, never wavered–merely stopped desiring so badly. For a while, longer maybe (he doesn’t know when it started, when it had consumed him), it was the only home he knew.

Home had been a place, one that would never love him back. It could not love him back. No matter how much Atsumu bled, no matter how much he cried, it wasn’t moved. Home had been cold, and he hadn’t understood why that might be a problem.

Osamu is the younger of them—“It’s only three minutes,” is a recurring comeback—but Atsumu probably learns more from him than the other way around. It’s Osamu who finds a home not in an unforgiving cavern holding his dreams and goals, but in a person, ever-changing and ever-moving. It makes no sense at first—people have the capacity to disappoint just as much as they have the capacity to please. But against all his expectations, Osamu is  _ happy _ with his relationship, even when he’s stuck in Kobe and Suna is all the way in Hiroshima. They get snatches of time together, stolen after nearby games and coincidental visits to Tokyo.  _ ‘How are you so happy?’ _ He wants to grab his brother by the shoulders and shake him.  _ ‘How is it enough to see him twice a month and be satisfied?’ _

Home was always a place, unforgiving, unloving. And then he learned home could be a person, and Atsumu felt his world had been turned upside down. Home could be comforting, he learned. Home could wrap you in a hug, home could ask if you’re alright, and if he said no, home would be okay with that.

And home is still a high school gym with a few too many sprained knees and ankles, and it’s still a gym in Hirakata where he found a team that would give him their all, and it’s still a house back in Hyōgo where he grew up.

But home is also a man now, and home is the country farmhouse in which he lives. It’s the joy of arriving in the early hours of the morning, before the sun has even begun to lighten the sky, but he doesn’t need it to find his way. It’s the front steps leading to the genkan, an extra pair of slippers that only see use when he comes back. It’s a man, already awake and cooking breakfast, because he is used to the routine of coming home and cherishes it just as closely.

And Miya Atsumu will drop his duffel bag haphazardly on the floor, and Kita Shinsuke will smile indulgently at him for it, forgiving him for his mess this once, when excitement overcomes all else. They will eat together, watching the sunrise outside as it creeps over the hills. It will be a comfort he can’t find in an empty Osaka apartment, too drab and featureless to spend longer than a night in. They will ask each other how their week was, as if they don’t make a point to call every other day, simply to hear each other's voice in person. They will walk through the paddies under a scorching sun, and Shinsuke will point out all the things that have and haven’t changed.

And Shinsuke is a home like these rolling fields, expansive and constant. Every year the rice will grow and every year Atsumu will return, like the ebbing of a current and the flow of a river. It’s inevitable he will find himself back in the gym, but for now Atsumu allows himself this glimpse of the future. One day, the itch to return to another home will subside, will stop hungering so relentlessly and will allow him peace, and then Atsumu will find himself with the only person he has ever wanted to find a home in.

**Author's Note:**

> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/timelessidyll) \+ [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/timelessidyll)!


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